And you can quote me on this... by Ace Hoffman

...and you can quote me on this!

By Ace Hoffman

For a long time I put these in a "3-by-5" card file (that is to say, on paper). Now I put them on a computer! Will you like them all? I doubt it! Weed 'em and reap!

    All quotes by (or individualized by) Russell D. Hoffman
  • We should all live long enough to correct the mistakes of our youth.
  • God doesn't bet on the wrong horse.
  • The most wonderful thing in the world is to be part of the Global Eternal Thinking Machine. All you have to do to be a part of it is to communicate the truth among those you encounter.
  • When you come right down to it, the smallest unit of measure for God, as for humans, must be a one (1) and a zero (0), too (or some philosophical equivalent). In essense. God is a programmer.
  • Time permits courtesy. God gave us time to permit courtesy.
  • Anyone can interrupt, but THE RIGHTEOUS (that is, those whose own comments are backed with a deeply rooted understanding of the facts) can let others have their say first, because they can answer all comers.
  • You can talk to anyone who has the least little bit of humility in them, but otherwise you can't, because they're just arrogant, and it's like talking to a brick wall -- and brick walls are very arrogant!
  • The most enjoyable thing in the universe is to find someone who thinks like you do, but developed the ideas via a completely different method.
  • Hey Kids! The most important lesson I can give you is this: Life is short and time is precious, but STAY IN SCHOOL anyway. It may seem boring and irrelevant, but nearly everything useful you will ever do will seem likewise, at the time you are doing it.
  • The only battle a soldier ever wins is the one he doesn't fight.
  • Truth is no stranger to friction.
  • The easiest way to damage your reputation is to tell the truth.
  • A little belligerence never hurt anybody that was being executed at the time.
  • Never use original writing.
  • Those who do not wish to repeat the past are condemned to learn about it.
  • Great efficiency often comes from remembering small things for a few hours, days or weeks.
  • In most cases, intelligence is nothing more than small steps, well organized.
  • It is a citizen's duty to speak out against the many horrors of everyday life, and no day is complete without having done so.
  • If you want to succeed in life: A) Don't take all the credit, B) Don't do all the work.
  • Fame without fortune is drudgery.
  • My impression of "the public eye" is that it is much more like a river than a pond. Indeed, there is no "pool of public opinion". Only a river of collective conciousness (and subconciousness).
  • Some days, there is a direct relationship between feeling good and eating poorly.
  • An expert is someone who's an idiot about most things, but not everything.
  • I am a prisoner of my concience (and my subconcience).
  • Those who lie most easily lie most often (and vice-versa).
  • You have a right to have an agenda, but not a hidden one.
  • Never judge people too harshly, because you might find out later you judged them too harshly.
  • Discussion about trivia is argument.
  • [In life,] you cheat death until you die. From then on, death cheats you.
  • If laughter is the best medicine, why do I feel so sick?
  • He who cannot explain his laughter, is either mad, or secretive.
  • If you hate the press you will be ignored by them.
  • I rate, I write; Irate, I rant.
  • Drink before you're thirsty, eat before you're hungry, and worry about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome before you get it!
  • Human intelligence is the ability to understand things one hasn't actually experienced.
  • We have so little time and yet we waste so much of it...
  • The purpose of each of us is to educate others.
  • What separates humans from lower species is the ability to write macros.
  • It may be true that it takes a village. The Internet is the village.
  • Sooner or later, the truth wins; it never goes away.
  • The purpose of science is to make that which is interesting but not obvious...obvious, and the purpose of technology is to make that which is needed but does not exist... exist.
  • The way I figure it is this: Animals are a generally lot smarter than people think they are, and people are generally a lot dumber.
  • It doesn't matter who knows. What matters is who talks.
  • Government should be no bigger than necessary, but no smaller either.
  • The Internet is the brain. Feed the brain!
  • It is only the mechanical who do not feel pain.
  • I am a human being, and I am entitled to my emotions.
  • Any simplistic statement can be argued against simply by dragging its implications out to the limits of absurdity.
  • It's all semantics and shades of gray until you get to the fine line.
  • Never think someone is all bad just because they do something wrong.
  • Writing well is the best revenge...
  • One can never be too cautious in picking one's enemies, but friends shouldn't need to meet nearly such high standards!
  • If someone will not take responsibility for what they are doing, it's a good sign that what they are doing is irresponsible.
  • Sometimes it's better not to be too specific, especially when talking about what one's goals are.
  • I'm neither artistic nor anarchistic I'm anachronistic!
  • When I close my mind, I should also shut my mouth.
  • To err is human, but it feels divine!
  • The Internet is the library.
  • Power corrupts, but absolute divine!
  • If the truth can't even be heard, how can it possibly be followed?
  • It's not that I have a big head, I just wear lots of hats!
  • I have not yet begun to write!!!
  • You see, I work with the bottom line -- and can't seem to rise above it!
  • It's almost getting fun at this point. Sort of like a lobotomy.
  • I never take poetic license -- I earn it.
  • If everything was perfect, would we learn from our mistakes?
  • At least I can face reality, and have learned how to avoid it.
  • The next time someone tells you to trust them because they're an expert, tell them real experts can put things into terms that a lay person can understand!
  • Luck shines on those who don't take unnecessary chances.
  • If it ain't on the Web it don't exist.
  • Lawyers are funny things because when you need one, nothing else will do.
  • It's not what you know, it's what they think you know.
  • When you can't decide what you want for breakfast, go to the waffle shop.
  • Life is just a long series of mishaps, only one of which is fatal.
  • Be excessive only in tolerance.
  • In life, your word should be as good as your signature, even to people you hate. (Perhaps especially then.)
  • Those who can't cook, eat!
  • A guy thought he had invented a serum to cure lisps, but it turned out just to be a theorum.
  • The easiest way to do the right thing is by not doing the wrong thing.
  • When everything else is going wrong in your life--Eat right.
  • If at first you don't succeed, there may be a good reason.
  • Money doesn't buy happiness, but happiness and 50 cents will get you a cup of coffee.
  • Any injury you can laugh at later is minor.
  • Don't create problems today that tomorrow's uninvented technology is expected to solve.
  • The devil is in the details, but so is the beauty.
  • I got where I am today by stepping on the toes of giants.
  • Being concise is easy. Being complete is easy. Both at once, is hard.
  • Never walk between a pool cue and a pool table or a dartsman and a dartboard.
  • The greatest sin of racism is to pass it on to the next generation.
  • When I bite my tongue, it's usually because it was firmly planted in my cheek when I tried to talk.
  • It's oft times better to bite your tongue with your teeth than to crush it with your foot.
  • Life is a series of complicated interactions.
  • In my life, I've found that when all I've got is a hammer, everything looks like a screw.
  • I learn from all my mistakes. I've made so many mistakes, I'm a genius!
  • Everyone's an idiot-savant about something.
  • Sizzle sells steak, but sizzle seldom sells a second steak.
  • You learn something new every day, 'till you die. Then you forget it all.
  • The first excuse of a scoundrel is that the people he does things to get what they deserve.
  • I felt comforted when the apartment complex next door put up "neighborhood watch" signs, until I realized all it meant was they had had a series of break-ins, and had a meeting and put up some signs.
  • Ace's Rule of Computers #487: Nothing ever works faster, it just does more.
  • We are each a minor perturbation of a cosmic nothingness.
  • The closer you get to the edge, the more interesting it gets.
  • Use your blinker every time so you do it with your spine.
  • The amount of time before you were born is infinitesimal compared to the infinity of time that will come after your death.
  • Everything I build (in electronics) either smokes, or shocks me, or just doesn't work... (no wonder I'm a programmer!)
  • [It's] like trying to break glass quietly.

These quotes have been listed sort of in reverse chronological order so if there are any new ones they'll probably be at or near the top (for those who might want to come back in a year or so).

Use these quotes at your own risk. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Breakable. Contents under pressure. Keep away from strong magnetic fields. Not tested on animals. May contain bits of stems or seeds. Updated regularly--be sure your version is current. Not responsible for typographical errors. In case of error, sole responsibility of the author shall be to repair or replace defective quotes, at the author's discretion. Contains no harmful additives. All natural. These quotes are low fat--they're half-baked, not fried. Does not contain Freon, which may be harmful to the environment. When replacing, substitute with a quote of equal or greater strength. These quotes are for analgesic purposes only--not for prevention of disease. Altering these quotes voids their warrantee. User must determine the fitness and mercantibility of these quotes for their own use. Does not contain MSG. Does not contain meat or meat byproducts. Needs no refrigeration. Use within six weeks of purchase. Read all instructions before using product. Dispose of properly. Contains all-new material. This tag may only be removed by the consumer.

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